Borderlands Week – Top 5 Borderlands 2 Missions

To celebrate the upcoming (and long-awaited) release of Borderlands 3, we’re looking back at our favourite missions, moments and characters from the first three games in the series!

Next up, 2012’s Borderlands 2!

While the first Borderlands game established the franchise’s core characters and the loot & shoot mechanics that separated it from its peers, the sequel is where things started to get really exciting for the series.

Better vault hunters to play as, more characters to interact with, an infinitely more interesting main villain in Handsome Jack and a “bazillion” guns to discover; Borderlands 2 is not only the best game in the Borderlands franchise (so far, anyway) but it is undoubtedly one of the best FPS experiences of the last decade.

With that being said, lets have a look at 5 of our favourite quirky sidequests from the game…


The Name Game

Throughout Borderlands 2, Sir Hammerlock will send you out on quests to help aid him in his studies of Pandora’s wildlife. Ranging from collecting Bullymong fur for his hat (or a mohawk wig for Claptrap, if you so wish), to forcing Varkids to mutate in the frozen tundra, Hammerlock’s missions (and even his DLC) are an interesting change of pace that shifts the focus from the crazed bandits and psychos that populate the planet to the weird and wonderful creatures that are see you as their next meal.

One of the first missions that you’ll receive once you arrive in Sanctuary is Hammerlock’s attempt to come up with a new name for Bullymongs to put in his upcoming almanac. You’ll be digging through their waste piles, blowing them up with grenades, shooting their projectiles out of the air and just straight up slaying a whole bunch of them, as Hammerlock gets increasingly frustrated with his name ideas getting rejected by his publishers.

It’s a nice insight into Hammerlock as a character, and is a fun final side quest that focuses on the earliest enemy that you encounter in the game.

Attenborough, this is not.


Shoot this guy in the face

As you make your way further into Thousand Cuts (Brick’s base of operations for the Slab gang), you will definitely hear Face McShooty before you see him. Stood at the edge of one of the area’s cliffs, McShooty constantly screams at you to perform one simple task; shoot him in the face.

Not the arm.

Not the leg.

Not the spine.

The face.

Popping a single round off into his face causes his head to pretty much explode, but he manages to shout a quick “THANK YOU!” for fulfilling his sole request.

If there was ever a perfect example to showcase just how silly the Borderlands franchise can get, then this side quest is undoubtedly the number one choice.


Grandma Flexington’s Story

Writing this out was as tedious as you’d imagine…

Upon completing the main mission in Mr. Torgue’s Headhunter DLC, “The Hunger Pangs”, players have the option to have a sit down conversation with Torgue’s grandmother, Grandma Flexington.

The mission itself is one of the longer sidequests in the entire game, testing the players patience by forcing them to stay in one spot and listen to every word that Grandma has to say. Her story verges on torturous in its length, and goes absolutely nowhere, much like Abe Simpson’s most famous lines in The Simpsons (especially his trick to take down unions).

Expect to hear her thoughts on animals, radio jingles, ice cream, philosophy and everything in between. She also reveals a bit of information about Mr. Torgue’s childhood that adds a bit of character depth to the lovable meathead.

If you think of trying to walk off while Grandma is talking, or ignore what she is talking about, then you either fail the mission immediately or she starts the whole thing from the start.

Your reward for sitting through this rambling nonsense? In true grandma form, a single dollar!

The mission’s second part is even longer, and requires you to obtain some cough sweets halfway through (which must be obtained from two “tribute” bosses).

Painful to sit through, but hilariously captures the feeling of sitting through an older relative’s stories out of sheer politeness.


Poetic License

Scooter’s constant search for his version of love is a reoccurring theme for a number of sidequests throughout Borderlands 2, and this particular one sees players return to Thousand Cuts with a camera in hand with the purpose of taking “inspirational photographs” for a poem he’s working on.

This poem, intended for Daisy (one of Sanctuary’s residents), will hopefully “get her juices flowin'” as you traverse to different sections of the level snapping pics of dead bodies, wreckage and flowers. Ya know, “artsy-fartsy” stuff.

Once the photos are taken, players then head back to Sanctuary, where they are then tasked with delivering the poem to Daisy in person. Her reaction to the poem is, well, immediate, as she goes inside her house and commits suicide.

Oh well Scooter, at least there’s a nudie magazine as backup I guess!


claptrap’s birthday bash

Love him or hate him, Borderlands‘ most famous CL4P-TP robot is one of the most important characters in the entire franchise. This overtly cheery little machine acts as an introduction to each game, and remains as a constant pain in the ass for pretty much everyone else with his unsolicited opinions, failed business interests (his attempt to get into the cryptocurrency market in the latest DLC being a prime example) and awful dubstep songs that he forces upon the residents of Sanctuary.

The sheer disdain that the characters have for Claptrap is no more evident than when it comes to celebrating his birthday. After Clappy hands you a bunch of invitations to deliver to Scooter, Moxxi and Marcus (which, as you may have guessed, each of them immediately decline), you return to his area in Sanctuary, where he greets you with party whistles, way too much pizza and lame music.

Having to awkwardly keep Claptrap company in real-time as he dances by himself is cringeworthy and become increasingly more sad as the counter counts down.


So, there you have it!

A musclebound granny testing your patience? A failed nature expedition? The crazed ramblings of a psycho? Some vulgar poetry? The world’s saddest birthday party?

All hilarious and essential quests that merely scratch the surface of the game’s wealth of stories, missions and moments.


What are your favourite missions and moments from Borderlands 2?
Let us know in the comments below, or send us a tweet at @PetWolfGaming!

Join us on our Twitter page tomorrow as we choose our top 5 moments in Tales From The Borderlands!

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